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Thank You and Hello! By Sr. Shane Margaret
First of all, let me say
thank you to all of you at St. David’s for sharing your time,
treasure, and talent with me on my journey to ordination. I am
grateful to God and to all of you for your generous hospitality. I
am excited about spending this year with you.
Let me tell you a bit about
myself. People so often see nuns and think we were all born good,
sweet, and docile. That was certainly not my case! I was born in
1956 in Cleveland, Ohio. My family lived in Ohio, in Illinois, and
then in California, where we landed in 1969. I was angry and
isolated, and I did what many kids did at that time. I left church,
and I started acting out. My behavior took me to places that no
teenager should visit, and I am convinced that I survived only by
the grace of God. I was always interested in religion, but I could
not believe in the God that I heard about in the Episcopal Church of
my youth. I visited “weird” churches, I read philosophy, astrology,
and all sorts of mystical works. I learned a lot, but I was
miserable.
In 1985, I realized that my
father was an alcoholic. Then I realized that I was too. I entered
recovery, and have been sober ever since. I learned about a God
who loved me no matter what, who cried with me, and who willed my
health. I gradually learned to trust and love that God, and my life
changed. I learned to pray every day to be of service. I finished
a Ph.D. in political theory and became a university professor. Life
was good. I had a sober, stable partner, a good job, a nice house,
dogs – the works. But God wasn’t done with me. After twelve years
my relationship ended, and a few years later I decided that there
was more to life than my current work. I started to pray to know
what to do. After five months, I felt an inner voice calling me to
look at the religious life. It seemed crazy, but I went and looked,
and I never looked back. I was home, at the Community of St. John
Baptist in Mendham. I planned to become a spiritual director and
retreat leader. Over the years, those plans became reality. I
thought I knew what I was doing. That’s always a mistake.
Periodically people would
say to me “you should be a priest.” I’d say no: I don’t want to go
back to school, I don’t need to be in the center of things, I don’t
feel called, I have a life of ministry without it. But some part of
me kept chewing on it, and in the summer of 2004 that inner voice
came crashing in again. Again, it seemed crazy, but by now I knew
that voice, and it has never steered me wrong. I can trust that
voice. Now, no one makes that decision alone. As part of the
process of communal discernment I am here with you, learning about
ministry and learning about myself as a minister.
I have learned that God
wastes nothing. My early years prepared me for ministry at Daytop,
a therapeutic community for teenage drug addicts and alcoholics
located on the convent grounds. I was led to serve at the Church of
the Redeemer in Morristown, a parish that has many people in
recovery and is about 50% gay and lesbian; my history and presence
helped facilitate healing for many who had felt judged by their
religion.
Now we are journeying
together at St. David’s. I have listened to you and watched you.
You are a devoted and Spirit-filled group, and I know I will learn a
lot from you. Thanks again for including me in your common life.
Please know that I am praying for you, individually and as a
community. May God bless you richly as we walk together. |
